The Slutty Writer

“To write a book you have to have a weird maddening mix of impossibly high standards and slutty low, low standards. At the same time. The whole time you are writing.” –Heather Sellers, Chapter After Chapter

I just turned in my third book. More precisely, the complete-overhaul-revision of the third book. Which makes the third time I’ve turned this particular storyline in to this particular publisher.

The first time, I was told that the novel had too much going on (I agreed) and to split it into two separate books (I did). Alyea, Deiq, and Eredion’s POV sequences were published in March 2011 as “Guardians of the Desert”. I sorted out the other POVs, tidied them up and gave them a facelift, and resubmitted them as book three.

The story of that version is here. (Go ahead, refresh your memory, I’ll wait.)

So this version, this third version, this third run past editorial eyes…I tore it completely down to the ground and built it up again from scratch. It’s the same story, if you look at the bones of the plot; the same basic things happen. But how they happen has changed. There’s a small example of what I’m talking about here. There’s a lot more depth, a lot more complexity, a lot more intentional braiding and minor thread storylines worked throughout.

(And unintentional braiding. One of my test readers, looking at the index card timeline chart I have spread out all over the dining room wall at the moment, told me I really needed to publish the series timeline as an appendix in this book, because the overlap of how things are happening in different areas at the same time fascinated her. And I agree–because there are coincidences of timing that I had no intention of setting up, but which are truly neat nonetheless.)

I’m very proud of this version. I’m very confident of it. I’ve cried and laughed while writing it. I’ve made my test readers laugh–and cry–with it. I think I done pretty durn good on this one.

Is it perfect? Not a chance. Not a bleepity bleepity chance. But it’s good enough–as opposed to the previous version, which I told myself was good enough–but wasn’t. Quite.

Another quote, from the same chapter as the above quote:

“You can’t call it Good Enough until you have stretched yourself, dug deep, pushed yourself, and really truly … given the book everything you have. You haven’t pretended to be dumber, lazier, simpler, busier, faster, smarter than you are … When you give it everything, everything, there are still going to be flaws. And that’s when you say, at the very end of the day, Good Enough. Good Enough isn’t settling. It’s celebrating the truth.”

I know without a doubt that my editor will find at least one glaring, ohmygodstupid mistake and a host of other tinier ones. I know without a doubt that when the book is finally published, there will be a dozen tiny typos that myself and the editor both missed and will be very embarrassed over. I know without a doubt that when people start reading the book, some will love it and some won’t “get” it and some will hate it.

But I didn’t go safe on this one, which was the main flaw of my “older” writing style (from five years plus ago). I stretched and I dug and I pushed way harder and deeper than I’ve ever tried to do before. I hope it will be an amazingly, mind-blowingly great book to some readers. It will absolutely fall flatter than a lead pancake for others. But I gave it everything I had, and I totally believe, minor (and normal) glitches aside, that it’s solid. I did my best. I did what I could. And at the end of today–that’s Good Enough.

Tomorrow … well, tomorrow’s another day…

(Oh, and if you’re curious, Heather Seller’s web site is here. She’s a freaking genius. Go read Chapter After Chapter. Invest in a copy. My copy has a permanent home on my bedside table when I’m deep in a project.)

And if you’re struggling with doubt as to whether your writing is good enough: it is. JUST KEEP GOING.  :)

 

RavenCon 2011

Wow. Just … wow. And I could probably end this post there, but that wouldn’t give the details, and you really, really need the details here.

RavenCon has been around for a few years–I remember, vaguely, attending the first one (and being sooooo sick that most of it was a blur). I also remember that the first one, even through a haze of fever, impressed me as being uncommonly well organized and planned. I started off attending as a fan; later, I began attending as a chair massage therapist, and at that point was even more impressed with the behind the scenes planning and care-of-guests that RavenCon offered. Now I’m attending (for the second time) as a writer guest, and … well … I’m back to “wow”.

Brandon Blackmoor, the Programming Coordinator, put together an amazing and comprehensive lineup of panels this time around; rearranged heaven and earth at the last minute more than once to make the various guests happy; and wore himself to the bone running to every single panel to check that everyone was happy and that all problems were taken care of. Rene, the Hotel Liaison, worked as tirelessly to coordinate events with the host hotel; Crystal Ritchie as Guest Liaison worked just as diligently pre-con to set up a stellar lineup of guests. I could go on–every single member of the RavenCon staff, from Doris Manning to Michael Pederson, deserve a standing ovation for their work this time around. But then I wouldn’t have room to mention the panels.

Ah, the panels. Fourteen hours, if I recall correctly, on my schedule alone. I’ve never been so heavily scheduled at a convention before, and at first I thought about asking to drop out of a few of the panels. But honestly, they all looked so dang interesting I couldn’t make myself squeak about the load.

And I’m so glad I went with it, because the panels were all just freaking fabulous. Starting off with “The author as persona” on Friday afternoon, which I moderated *gulp*– Matthew Warner and Patrick Vanner — that panel was sparsely attended, more because of the early time (3 pm) than anything else, but lots of fun, as Matthew and Patrick were both great speakers. Then it was off to prepare for a signing at 5 pm — early in the convention, and I was nervous that nobody would show up; but luck put me on the table next to Phillipa Ballantine, and right across from a vendor of divine fudge and saltwater taffies, so there was quite a crowd the whole time. And Phillipa couldn’t have been nicer–I’ll gladly hang out at a signing table with her–or share a panel, for that matter–any time. She’s just plain fun to be around, and again, a great speaker. I even signed a couple of my own books, thanks to Danielle Ackley-McPhail, whose booth was right next to the aforementioned fudge vendor and who was selling my books (along with Creatures & Crooks, a local indie bookstore recently gone e-vendor).

The opening ceremonies were fun, but I had the feeling that with eighty some guests on the schedule this time around, most of the folks who actually showed up to the OC were the guests themselves and their direct supporters… so that was a bit odd. Still, there were plenty of laughs…and it was great to see each guest introduced, so I had some chance to match names with faces.

My final panel on Friday night was “Writing sex in SF/F”…not a panel I ever would have expected to be on, to be honest. But after meeting Helen Madden a few conventions back, and after finding that my own writing is slowly veering in an increasingly explicit direction, I’ve started attending and sitting on this sort of panel more and more often. And you know what? They’re always really fun, and interesting, and not grotty-icky at all. This time around the panel hosted Phillipa Ballantine, Stuart Jaffe, KT Pinto, and Diane Whiteside, as well as myself; and of course Helen Madden was in the audience, prodding the conversation along with her devil’s-advocacy and a wicked grin.

I went facedown shortly thereafter, and hauled myself awake in time for Allen Wold’s Writing Workshop (always a high point of any convention for me)–which was, as always, two hours of excellent discussion, writing samples, and meeting promising new writers. (The followup on Sunday morning was just as wonderful, if a bit too early for most folks to tolerate civilly. But I understand that’s been remedied for next year.)  The next workshop, “Character, Setting, and Plot” was very ably run by Peter Prellwitz, with Allen Wold, Gail Z. Martin, John Betancourt, and myself supporting. I definitely look forward to attending and hopefully being a part of that one again in the future! It also had a wonderful followup on Sunday morning.

My book launch party for Guardians of the Desert Saturday afternoon was … well, we’re back to that ubiquitious “wow” again. I am still utterly stunned at how many people showed up, and how friendly and helpful everyone was with setup and breakdown. The boardroom was completely filled. A BIG thank you goes out to everyone who showed up, signed the guest book, bought books, and enjoyed the coffee. I must offer a sincere bow of gratitude here for the RavenCon staff who got me special dispensation to offer gourmet coffee at the launch party, and just as much to the hotel for allowing me that leeway. I am honored by the trust shown by both entities, and I truly hope that the room was left in good order once we skedaddled out of Phillipa Ballantine’s way. (And special thanks to Phillipa and Tee Morris for being so gracious about our running just a touch late on clearing out of the room!)

Oh, but I wasn’t done yet, oh no. I still had a 7 pm panel, “Networking for Beginners”, with Stuart Jaffe–and I have to say this was probably my favorite panel of the lot (although that’s a really close call!). Stuart is very friendly and well-spoken, and explained in blunt but amiable terms how networking works and why it’s essential for beginning writers to understand. And then I stayed in the same room to moderate the 8 pm panel “Introduction to Social Media”, which hosted Christiana Ellis, Paul Fischer, Gail Z. Martin, and Heather Welliver.

Sunday was easy by comparison. I only had four things to juggle: the followup to the two Saturday writing workshops, a panel with John C. Wright titled “Would You Like Elves With That?”, and my reading slot at 2 pm. The panel with John was interesting, if a little chaotic; one of those where I walked in thinking the panel had been his idea and he walked in thinking it was mine… but we had some great conversations all the same. The reading slot was well-attended, and the readings themselves well-received. I read an excerpt from “Duck, Duck…Goose!”, my first “pro” short story sale (to Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine); a flash-short, “Mind Games”, that appeared in Alienskin (an online zine which is now, sadly, defunct); and excerpts from both Secrets of the Sands and Guardians of the Desert. I even sold a couple of books at the reading, which was highly gratifying.

In-between all the panels, I talked with dozens of friends and supporters and new friends and vendors and authors and artists…I do not think I have ever been so busy at a convention, nor have I ever enjoyed myself so thoroughly. Once again, I must reiterate that a truly great convention is due largely to the work of the fanatically hard-working staff and volunteers, and bow to them for creating what was an exceptionally well-run experience. I also gathered over a dozen new blog post topic ideas….so I have plenty to occupy me over the next few weeks!

And now… I think it’s time for a nap. Or ten. And then for a snooze…and from thence to sleep.

 

Madness and Mayhem, or, What I’ve Been Up To Lately….

Is it March 1 already? [insert expletive here] Well….time does pass, like it or not. And it’s been a busy time. Let’s see… in January I went to MarsCon and had a great time. In February I went to the Wicked Winter Renaissance Faire with minions and husband in tow and had an amazingly fun time; a post about the Experience That Is Wicked Faire is languishing half-done in my drafts folder as we speak. I might manage to finish it….but might not. We’ll have to see on that.

I’m currently preparing for SheVA Con this coming weekend; Peter Beagle is the Guest of Honor, so you can just imagine how excited I am about attending this one! (For those clueless about that name: very. And go look him up. Seriously.) Then I get to wrap up my intensive writing class over the next three weekends. That class is going extremely well so far, and I’m beginning to think about finding a spot locally to teach as well.

That project will have to wait, though, until the April Madness has passed. I love being over-committed in all directions, and this year I’ve sat myself right in the middle of a ton of work. I’ll be running a series of blog posts about April events, so I won’t bore you with it here–but rest assured there will be plenty of opportunities to catch up with me and get that book signed or ask me writing questions next month!

This blog is also going to be seeing more and more guest blog posts as time goes on: Steven Savage, of course, is contributing twice a month, on the fifth and the twentieth. I have a followup interview with Tina Morris coming out this month as well, and I’m working on scheduling a guest blog post with authors Becky Mushko and Michael Sullivan. So there’s going to be a lot of content coming out over the next few weeks!

Elsewhere in the webbysphere, I have a review of a rare acoustic performance of local favorites Coyote Run aimed to come out through Green Man Review, along with interviews with the various band members. Look for that to post over at GMR sometime before the end of March! (editing update: the post has just aired, in August 2011, due to unexpected delays along the way. On the other hand, it’s a triple-howl: two reviews and an interview. So that was worth waiting for!)

I’ve taken on the job of posting a monthly update for Mercury Retrograde Press authors; the first one should be posting today, so wander over and check out that blog if you have a moment. We are an impressive bunch of overachievers, if I do say so myself….

And finally, I’m hoping to get another bizarre short story into a dark, bird-themed anthology–this will be my first (mature) attempt at writing a spooky story. Hopefully it will … err … fly. (Couldn’t resist, sorry).

Aaaaand….. that’s it for updates this month! Thanks for reading, as always; and remember to keep smiling–just for the hell of it!

 

End of the Year Thoughts: 2010

Editing note: Most of the links have been temporarily removed from this post until the housecleaning is complete. 08/2011

It’s been a fantastically interesting and wild year all around. My first post of the year (deservedly, if I recall right) involved the history of alcohol. I attended MarsCon 2010 as a guest writer–my first “pro” convention appearance–very exciting (and a whole lotta fun!) Then I got snarky about the FTC crackdown on review bloggers.  I had an ethical dilemma, talked about werewolves, and held my first book launch party. Around RavenCon time, I had a chain of mini-disasters. I went to my first online writing convention, Coyote Con, and enjoyed it tremendously. I discovered a great blog, Fan to Pro, and became friends with the author (Steven Savage)–I also reviewed his first book (damn good for a fledgling effort)–and by the way, Steven will be starting up as a regular guest blogger here in 2011–very cool, to my way of thinking!

I mused about the benefits of being ill, hosted guest bloggers Tina Morris, Danielle Ackley McPhail, Allen Wold, and JeanMarie Olivieri. I opened up to readers about my own battle with depression. I attended my first BaltiCon44 and almost accidentally made contacts that put me straight into CapClave 2010 and a speech at the Library of Congress (the writing of which came with a side trip all its own). I (and many others) mourned the passing of Jeanne Robinson. 

I joined some good friends at the Mystic Moon one day for a book signing , talked about why research is actually kind of fun when done right, and perpetrated some of that research (about tea) in service of my forthcoming novel (Guardians of the Desert).  I also admitted that I enjoy the process of revising my novels  and faced up to my fear of Famous People. I broke my own rule and reviewed a friend’s book on my blog . I ran headfirst into an interesting version of writer’s block . And I took one of the most boring conversational topics I could think of and pointed out why the weather is actually important to a writer. And I unearthed a lost blog post.

What amazes me the most about the above list is that it’s not comprehensive. I blogged a lot this year. Not every day, not even every week, but considering that I also: went to somewhere around eight or nine out of state conventions and multiple in-state book signings, finished and proofed Guardians of the Desert; finished and put aside book three, and am now burning through book four at a remarkable clip (given the rather unpromising and frustrating start); went to Florida on a completely unplanned, last-minute decision, two week visit in October, then went down for another week over Christmas holidays (first time driving, second time flying–don’t know which was worse, as I’m horrible at flying but the van required almost a thousand dollars of repair halfway down  the road on the first trip); threw my back out about four times; took a typography class; faced up to my fear of elevators (one more item almost off the What Scares Me list–woo!); helped friends clear out a Very Large storage unit in hundred-degree-plus weather; and generally pushed my boundaries in all possible directions to find out what suits me best … given all that, I think I did a pretty good effort of blogging in 2010.

And what have I learned from all this? Well, that I’m moving in the right direction…because I decided a while back that I don’t want to look at my life when I’m fifty or seventy or ninety and say, I wish I’d tried… or something similar. I’m going to do it right now, and see if I like it. Looking back over the past year, I can certainly say I didn’t leave too many stones unturned, and I’ve got plans in place to kick over a few more in the coming months. I met some great people and strengthened my practice of treating others as equals, instead of looking for differences or spots where I’m better or worse. I saw some amazing things and found out where my limits are in some directions; discovered that my limits are much further out in other directions than I’d expected.

I’m closing the year out, of course, listening to some weird and fun music we picked up on our Florida Christmas trip: Only The Good Stuff, a CD from local Florida favorite The Barefoot Man. (Think a calypso/reggae Weird Al, and you’re close. Check out his stuff here.)

All in all: 2010 has been a good year. I look forward to blowing that high mark out of the water in 2011!

HAPPY NEW YEAR–be safe, be honest, and remember to laugh whenever possible–because that leaves less holes in the walls!

 

Blocked! Not Quite.

The other day, I was thinking (rather smugly) that I haven’t run into writer’s block for an awfully long time.

Yeah. That was stupid, huh? Enter brick wall, near immediately. Only it isn’t, really.

I would have seen this as writer’s block a while back, but now I see it as needing to step back and think my premises through more carefully. I began writing this series a loooong time ago–it’s been building for almost ten years now. Along the way, I’ve experimented with different literary devices (flashbacks, framing techniques, and dreams, to note a few)–and the guidance of a good editor on the first two books has clarified what works and what doesn’t. Which has, by neccessity, refined how I convey a plot. How I present a character. Here’s what I mean:

Cafad Scratha is a jerk. A total, utter, asswipe. He smacks Idisio around, in Book One; he throws his lover, Nissa, out into the street naked and yells that she’s a whore to all within hearing. Never mind the reasons for those actions, he’s a jerk to be able to react that way at all. But no matter how mean I made him, people still come up to me saying that they like him; he’s bizarre and goofy and just a good guy in a lot of pain. Which is true; but it’s also true that some characters just don’t get that, such as Deiq of Stass. Deiq sees Lord Scratha as a total ass, but not because he smacked Idisio around at one point; he’s disliked Cafad for many years, over totally unrelated issues. On the other hand, Nissa of Sessin is deeply in love with Scratha, and while she’s something of a naive innocent herself, there has to be something gentle about Cafad, in order for her to be so passionate about a guy (much older than herself, by the way) that she would risk lying to him about her real identity.

So Cafad has to hate Sessin Family so much as to react explosively over finding out he’s been sharing his bed with a Sessin woman. There has to be a valid reason for that hatred. He also has to hate thieves with just as much blazing passion, and have an equally solid reason for that. But when he catches Idisio picking his pocket, he has to see something, in that moment, that makes him stop his normal action: which would be to kill the thief on the spot and move on, serene in his desert lord status that protects him from any retaliation (not that the death of a street thief would particularly outrage anyone, except possibly the people who have to mop up the street later). His paranoia over people plotting against him has to be so high, then, that he wants to question Idisio rather than kill him right away; and Idisio has to be quick-witted enough to make hay out of that opportunity, or he’s on the burning slab by tomorrow.

But why does Cafad Scratha instantly think Idisio is part of a plot to frame him for something, to embarrass him, to mock him? Well, that  is because of a lot of off-camera stuff that the reader doesn’t know about yet — but I do, and I know it comes into a later book, and shapes Scratha’s actions there. Given that Secrets of the Sands is written from Idisio’s point of view, there’s actually rather a lot that Scratha thinks and sees and does that Idisio doesn’t know anything about. But since I plan Book 4 to have Scratha’s point of view, I have to know everything back to his childhood in order to present him accurately, not only in the last book, but in the other three as well. (Editing note: Book 4 will not have Scratha’s POV. The Children of the Desert series wound up focusing on the Alyea-Idisio-Deiq-Eredion thread almost exclusively. Scratha’s POV will have to wait for the next series out.)

So, back to my current brick wall. Two characters in the (as yet untitled) third book, Tank and Dasin, have a very complicated relationship. I’ve always planned for it to be complicated, and hopefully to spark off some arguments among readers over morality, choices, nature versus nurture and all that.  Homophobes probably need not read further in the series than book two (Guardians of the Desert). I present gay and lesbian characters the same way I would hetero couples: as complicated, flawed, and occasionally very stupid in their personal choices. However, my earlier attempts at framing that relationship were done . . . at a less mature level, let’s say. A less educated and experienced level. Which is to say, in the middle of editing a long-standing scene, the characters faced off with me and said, essentially, “if you want us to behave this way, we need a better motivation than just being horny!”

And they’re completely right. They do have better motivations, because the basic scene (I’m told) is all right; I just need to be more clear on why this scene happened (just as I needed to know why Scratha didn’t kill Idisio out of hand), and build that insight up throughout the story arc. Otherwise, they’re rather embarrassed at what people will think of them: too stereotyped, they said. Too obvious. And I agreed.

So I’m staring at the wall, and playing Jewel Quest 3, and napping a lot–and listening; literally asking, “All right, Dasin, who are you? Tell me what I need to know about your life. Tank, you too. Who are you? Why did you react this way in this scene and another way over here? Have you grown up, since I first wrote about you, and now I have to rework everything I’ve been writing–or do I just need to clarify a few points? What’s your favorite color?” And so on.

It’s tempting to just strongarm the problem, and say that I wrote the damn scene, buckle down and behave: but it doesn’t work that way at all. I’ve come to realize that the reason I don’t suffer from writer’s block as much as I used to is that I now respect the characters, and listen to my subconscious when it wants to talk to me about something I’m screwing up. Once your writing-brain/soul/impulses/ego/muse/whatever the hell you personally call it — once that part of you trusts you to trust it (hopefully I didn’t just make your head explode) — that’s when everything unlocks and you generally wind up with more than you can ever use. Scary, yes. Treacherous, yes. Needs to be carefully guided, oh yes. Otherwise you never finish a project, but flit from one to another to another–like writing blog posts instead of thinking on the current knothole in the plot.

Er. Perhaps I’d better go back to Jewel Quest 3, so that my organizational and guilt-ridden “I’m not working hard enough” brain has something to focus on, and my creative mind can wander around unfettered in the background. Yes. That sounds like an excellent idea.

I’m not blocked. I’m thinking. Really…..